The Garden office
My name is Nougat de la Chacolaterie. I am a young lilac somali boy and I have been asked to put my paw to paper and share my experiences regarding my paternal duties with you. Naturally, I will be happy to do so although you may have to bear with me when I need a nap or Annelies dishes out chicks! Priorities, you see.
When I was 9 months old my breeder Babette in France informed me that I had an important task set for me; I was to travel to the UK and make lovely babies! A wife had been chosen for me – Vanregel’s Truffle, a young, delicious chocolate maiden of good stock was awaiting my arrival she said. She was lush! A svelte figure, flirtatious, lovely chocolate and, she said, all mine! It was love at first sight. For both of us although we weren’t quite sure how to proceed. I wish I had paid attention to my mum’s lessons but it was too late, she was far away in France…..
Anyway, after a few weeks Truffle suddenly smelled soooo tempting and she was saying such outrageous, exciting things while sticking her bum in the air, I just jumped and grabbed her scruff and….. Well. Suffice it to say we had fun.
A difficult time followed and I was quite at a loss what to do. Truffle, my gorgeous Truffle, the one I made that long journey for, became grumpy, grew fat and only wanted to sleep. If I managed to wake her up she didn’t want to play but wanted Bombay potatoes and cucumber! I often managed to steal little titbits for her but it was never enough and she didn’t want to cuddle up with me any longer.
I felt lonely. I am a virile boy after all and there were no other girls around. Mother-in-law Mousse eyed me up and told me in no uncertain words that she thought I was a teenager who should pipe down a tune or two so I made a mental note to stay out of her way. I confess that in my desperation I took to the internet. I asked the feline readers of my kind what I should do. I really didn’t want to upset my Truffle but….. I admitted I was looking at the moggy girls who passed our house on occasion. The general advice was to stick with Truffle and wait. Things, my fellow felines said, would get better soon.
Luckily I decided to follow their advice because a few weeks later something amazing happened! Truffle hid herself and first I was quite concerned; she seemed in pain but didn’t want my help. Only her mum Mousse and Annelies were allowed to be with her she said, I was sent to the kitchen! After I ate my breakfast (you have to keep up your strength after all) I realised she was still not joining us and I yelled at Annelies asking if she was OK? Eventually, we were allowed back into the lounge. It smelled strange. A basket had appeared and some weird squeaks came from it. Carefully I approached and asked Truffle if it was her? Her voice was strange, very soft and gentle and she told me to be very quiet but allowed me to have a look. Gently, I stuck my head over the edge. There was my Truffle, looking much slimmer but very tired and very happy, nursing five little chocolate babies!!!
My heart burst with pride; I had become father of five beautiful little kittens and my dear Truffle was their mummy – it all made sense now!! In the days that followed I made sure I checked on my family on a daily basis. No matter how busy I was patrolling my garden, eating and sleeping I checked in and had a quick word with my wife to see if all was well. Often she was busy nursing, changing nappies and doing general housekeeping so I left her to it. Women know these things best I believe. If the children were upset because Annelies wanted to weigh them or give them a clean bed I made myself known to them and told them all was well, as responsible father I was keeping all intruders away. It helped them go back to sleep I think. Oh and my mother-in-law helped as well and advised Truffle about all things feminine.
The days became a week, two weeks. Soon, Truffle said, the children would be starting to crawl around and she said she counted on my help to keep them safe. Surely that can’t be difficult, they are tiny after all although I must admit they grow fast. I said I would help of course – if it didn’t interfere with my patrolling duties. I hesitated to tell her that I would be off soon, travel ‘for work’. I sort of mumbled it but I think she was busy changing nappies and I thought it best not to say too much. I didn’t want to upset her but I had been invited to meet these two ladies up North. Nothing serious of course, just chatting and perhaps hold a scruff…. I promised I would be back soon and she mrrred that was OK and carried on trying to settle one of our sons. That’s still all she wants to talk about, the children. And she growls when I say flirty things to her beause I thought that I would get my sexy, fun Truffle back……..
So I went on a long journey with a stop-over half way. It was confusing and soon I missed Truffle and our children. Accommodation wasn’t quite what I had been used to and I loudly told staff of my discontentment. And who would patrol our garden!!! I had said mrrr though and there was no way back – yet. Luckily, Annelies had given some of my food with me so at least that was familiar although there were no chicks on the menu.
I did meet those two girls and, well you know….. But the thought of my Truffle at home never really left me and I kept saying I needed to go home. Eventually, after a long time, Annelies returned to collect me. FINALLY! I thought all would be as it used to be; surely Truffle would be pleased to see me and I imagined playing – gently of course – with my children.
Once home however most of my children had left. Only one daughter, Wispa, was still there and Truffle….. It wasn’t the home coming I had imagined. Truffle made it exquisitely clear she was very disappointed and even angry with me. She told me I was never to work away from home again. I ate humble pie, told her many sweet little words, offered flowers, pork chops and earth worms, did the dishes, put the bins out and generally kept my head down. I was so pleased to be home!
Truffle and I have made up. I will never again go away for work, I now have my own Garden Office if I need some personal space. My man cave. It has separate quarters for me and any … visitors. I can patrol my garden, keep an eye on the neighbour’s birds and be the man about the house. I am home!