As Head of the Feline Family I must admit my wife Truffle and I have our worries. Most of our children grew up beautifully and obediently (well, as obedient as a somali kitten can possibly be) and after they left us they are doing us proud in their new residences.
Wispa, on the other hand, was always different. She did not leave to begin with, something which really bothers my wife. She has told our daughter on numerous occasions we have done our bit and she is to fend for herself now – preferably somewhere else. Wispa stayed and, more embarrassingly, took up an intimate friendship with Callista the dog! Truffle and I decided to ignore this.
Then, one day, after she had reached marriageable state and we had resigned ourselves to having a spinster in the house, she just disappeared! We frowned, leaving like that without saying goodbye or where you are going is not polite, but were quietly relieved. The last of our brood had finally flown! Time went by and we heard rumours she had eloped abroad to find herself a husband! A World Champion chocolate somali. A bit over the top, surely, she could have married this black bloke that always calls at the back door? Anyway, my wife and I enjoyed our peace and quiet and went on with our private life.
But lo and behold, one day there she was again! She found a spot on the scratching post, gave herself a calm wash before she announced that she was back AND PREGNANT!
Poor Truffle nearly fell off her shelf and I went to kick a toy. The cheek! The embarrassment! What would the somali community think of this outrageous behaviour!!!? We never even met the bloke with the fancy title she got married to!
Time went by. Truffle and I mostly ignore our daughter. Communication has broken down and we only growl and hiss at each other in passing by. When I put my paw on her the other day in an attempt to have an old fashioned play-fight she shrieked at me! She was getting fat…..
Yesterday all and everybody suddenly had to yield to her demands. I got extremely grumpy about this and demanded to know why she thought she was entitled to all this attention. Annelies did not understand my point and told me to go sit in my Garden Office, my man cave and be quiet! Truffle did not wait for her orders and simply went outside to sit in the sun. Mousse the Office Manager hovered around though. She always wants to know first what is going on.
In the end it turns out she gave birth to four brats from this foreign bloke. Well, she will be very busy and learn what happens if you run off like that! She says I am Grandpa and Truffle is now Grandma. Hmpf. I’ll go and ask Annelies for a nice yellow, fluffy chick and nibble it in my Garden Office! Seems much more sensible. I have a feeling we haven’t seen or heard the last of this……